Here’s Sarah’s 7/23/14 article on fashion
for Harper’s Bazaar magazine.
By Sarah Silverman (as told to Charlotte Cowles)
HarpersBazaar.com July 23, 2014
I wore nothing but hoodies and jeans for the majority of my life, but when you turn 40 that becomes less cute. I’m still a slob most of the time, but I do love fashion, and I’ve grown to appreciate it more—especially people who do it really well. In my old age I’m finally getting it.
I used to get so much anxiety when I put on a fancy dress. I’d be like, “This isn’t me! F*ck you! I’ll wear whatever the f*ck I want!” I think all comics have an inherent problem with authority, fashion or otherwise. But the part about not looking like myself has worn off—of course, I’m still me, no matter what I wear. I do feel weird in an outfit I can’t be funny in, though. Sometimes a beautiful dress just makes you talk differently: “Hi, I’m wearing Dolce & Gabbahhhna.” I need to be loose and let my face be ugly when I’m talking, if that’s what I want to do.
Last year I met the stylists Emily Current and Meritt Elliott, and I fell in love with them. Now I do whatever they tell me. I once saw this featurette on Jack Nicholson where he says,
“When I have an instinct to go a certain way, and a director tells me differently, I always go with the director because otherwise you become predictable.”
That works in terms of fashion too. Naturally, there comes a certain point when I’m in heels that I hit a wall and I get angry and I want to punch someone in the face, and I need to go home and find a Law & Order marathon because I just cannot do it anymore. Sometimes I bring fuzzy socks to change into after the red carpet.
Seth MacFarlane once sent me a $2,400 Prada purse for Christmas, and it was so generous but also hilarious. I texted him and said, “Oh, my God! You just sent me a $2,400 designer purse—I just hope it fits in my backpack!” I gave it to my stepmother, who lives in Boca Raton, and she went crazy over it. It’s a beautiful purse, it really is.
I’m in awe of women who can make fashion seem effortless. When I was at the Met Gala, Jessica Alba grabbed my lipstick and tried it on like it was nothing, and I was like, “How do you do that?” I can’t put lipstick on without getting it everywhere; she was just like, swishhh. I was also wearing an amazing Zac Posen dress that night, but thank God I didn’t need to go to the bathroom because I couldn’t. There were so many layers, I barely fit into the car. All I could think about was finding a Snapple bottle in case I needed to pee.
I like a structured fit. When things pull me in at the waist, it looks pretty and I feel all held in, which is nice. It’s like being hugged. I’m also a sucker for babydoll dresses and sweet Peter Pan collars. It’s not uncommon for me to click on a dress I like and find out it’s for a toddler. And then I’m like, “Oh, my God! What is wrong with me?”
There are lots of things I like but just can’t wear. I like high-waisted pants, but I look high and wasted if I wear them. I love cropped pants, but they don’t love me back. That being said, I just bought a pair of pants that are cropped and high-waisted, so we’ll see how that goes. I do think there’s less pressure for comediennes to look good. I was once watching Fashion Police, and my picture came up and I looked bad. I wouldn’t mind at all if Joan Rivers made fun of me, but instead she said, “She’s a comic! Comics get a free pass because they wear what they want.” I thought it was so sweet that she was protective of me as a fellow comedienne.