Barbs fly at 8/25/13 Franco roast


Here’s a synopsis of all the comments by or about Sarah during the Comedy Central Roast of James Franco (August 25) that have been reported so far. The roast will air on September 2 at 10 p.m., but you never know which jokes will make the final edit.

Raising two frequent topics of the night, Franco’s squinty eyes and his sometimes-thought-to-be-ambiguous sexuality, Sarah said, “I don’t think James is gay or straight. It’s just that he literally can’t open his eyes enough to see who he’s fucking.”

She observed, “This the first time he’s been around this many assholes without getting a massive boner.”

Sarah suggested that Franco was inspired to make his upcoming film, Interior: Leather Bar, after he “ate a giant bag of dicks hosting the Oscars.”

And she recalled, “James recently won the ally award for his support of the LGBT community. It’s a prestigious award that’s given anally…– annually. It’s given annually.”

As in all such roasts, the dais had plenty to say about each other.

Sarah to all: “I can’t tell if this is the dais or the line to suck Judd Apatow’s balls. This dais is so Jewey. What is this, the Comedy Central audit of James Franco?”

Sarah to Bill Hader, who recently left the cast of Saturday Night Live: “It’s funny you’re doing an ad for a phone now that you don’t need one anymore. I’m gonna miss you in show business.”

Sarah about Aziz Ansari: “I have been a huge supporter of Aziz for years and for only the price of a cup of coffee.”

Sarah about Jonah Hill: “Jonah actually gained 50 pounds for his role in the new Martin Scorsese film because the producers wanted the character to be a Jonah Hill type. But seriously you’ve had such a body transformation in the past couple of years. You’ve come a long way from just being Sonny and Cher’s daughter.”

And the panel got digs in on Sarah, too:

Jonah Hill about Sarah: “You were one of my favorite comedians as a kid. I don’t get why everyone’s like, ‘She’s hot for a comic.’ She’s not just hot for a comic. She’s hot for someone her age.”

Seth Rogen about Sarah: “We worked together on Take This Waltz. She did full frontal nudity in the movie. I always thought she was very liberal, but it turns out she is a giant Bush supporter.”

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